Treading the boards today is the witty songstress, Helen Arney whose show “8½ Songs about Love (and other Myths)” is on at the Royal College of Surgeons till the 29th August. 2008 Funny Woman semi-finalist, Helen explores love with all its ups and down through song and stand-up.
1. What inspired you to become a comedian?
While I was studying for A-level music I wrote half a song about looking for love. 10 years – and 8 songs – later, I’ve still not found it… but I’ve found myself doing an Edinburgh show about it instead.
2. What’s your show about and what should the public expect from your show at the 2009 Edinburgh Festival Fringe
It’s called “8+1/2 songs about love (and other myths)”. You’ll pay just five pounds for a whole 45 minutes of me doing songs and stand-up about lovers and liars from behind a piano and a façade of geeky self-deprecation.
3. What was the last Fringe or Festival you performed at and what was it like?
Last year I was in “Homework for Heroes” with wonderfully talented comedians Nat Luurtsema, Tom Goodliffe and Broderick Chow. It was a crushingly lovely stand-up show celebrating tiny acts heroism that are often overlooked for some bloke pratting about in a leotard with big pants on the outside. It had just sprinkling of root-vegetable-based violence, and it was jolly good fun all month.
4. What are your funniest and worst experiences performing in front of an audience?
Covering both those bases was an open-air gig at the Brighton Fringe, where I was stage-dived by small children. I cowered in a corner while they ran riot across the stage, pretending to be dinosaurs and breaking bits off the mic stand. In a way it was my own fault – I could have asked for them to be removed but it seemed like overkill to set two burly security guards onto a bunch of sugared-up 7 year olds. Especially when their parents were encouraging them to jump up on the platform, just giving them enough time to get a beer before they had to reclaim their offspring at the end of my set. It was less a gig, more an open-air crèche. I have genuinely never been more terrified in my entire life.
5. What’s the best and worst advice you have ever been given? And did you follow it?
My favourite advice from anyone is to “just be yourself”. I follow that as much as I can – whilst trying to avoid the bits of me that are lazy, workshy or just plain unfunny.
The worst advice I’ve been given is “you should try being more like ‘the girl next door’ when you do stand-up”. Where I grew up, the girl next door already had 3 kids and worked at the checkout in Tesco when I left school. I’m not sure that’s exactly what this person meant when they said it, but until they say something more specific I’m going to have to ignore it.
6. What are you most proud of and what dreams or goals would you like to fulfill?
I’m proud of answering this question in less than 25 words. It’s been a dream of mine since the start of the questionnaire.
7. Which three famous people would you invite to dinner and why [dead celebrities included]? And what culinary dish would you prepare?
JS Bach, Earl Wild and Ben Folds. We’ll have a 4-way piano play-off after the Viennetta, fueled by vintage port and improvisation. It will be spectacular!
8. What is the best book or books you have read and why?
The 2009 Edinburgh Fringe Guide. Because my name is in it. And so are the names of lots of my friends. I keep it by my bed at night, in case I wake up all lonely.
9. Tell us 5 interesting and unknown facts about yourself?
1) In 1996 I did work experience on Bob Holness’ World Service radio show. The gent asked me if I’d like a hot drink before we started recording. I said “I’ll have a T please, Bob.”
2) There are rarely fewer than 4 types of cheese in my fridge.
3) I was under-13 triple-jump champion for my county, before having to choose between athletics club and piano lessons. I chose the piano.
4) All of the above facts are true.
5) Not all of the above facts are true.
10. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?
I would make a piano that was light enough to fit in a rucksack. I’m lugging an enormously heavy keyboard to every gig at the moment and it’s torture. A piano-based backpack would change my life.
Tags: 2009 Edinburgh Fringe, Helen Arney