Follow the mindset of Burns this Fringe as he experiences the Edinburgh Festival and offers up some colloquial musings…Loss

Eddie Morgan died yesterday. Scotland’s makar we salute you. You were the people’s poet too, and a man of learning lightly worn.

In your inner self you lived free, beyond the rules of carping wee Scotland. Your heart was your own to give, and you gave freely on stage and page.

Of course I was never crowned as Bard, not by governments in Edinburgh or London. A poet’s a poet for aa that, as you kenned weill. But I stand behind you today, Eddie, and I’m rooting for you, because you’re the real stuff.

I’m here too with Carol Ann Duffy at the Storytelling Centre. She’s another in the great line of true poets. Today we’re both raising a glass to your great yet puckish spirit, here in this city of makars you did so much to celebrate.

You’re a magician, a virtuosos, a real bobby dazzler, Eddie. Your rhythms sing on tongue and ear. The Gospel choirs are stepping up a beat. There’s a whirr of wings and the spotlights are going on full beam.You’re a one man festival.

And you’re leavin’ Scotland less feartie than you found her.

ROBERT BURNS

Burns: The Video Diary is on at the Scottish Storytelling Centre
(Venue 30)
Fri 13 – Mon 30 August, 7pm (60mins) £9/£7, Age 14+

The Princess’ Blankets is on at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

(Venue 30)
Mon 9 – Mon 23 Aug, 3pm (80mins), £8/ £5, Age 7+

Follow the mindset of Burns this Fringe as he experiences the Edinburgh Festival and offers up some colloquial musings…in another of his blags…

Got the first shows done. There was a small but perfectly formed audience. They clearly love it. Wish I could say the same about the fringe.

I found myself on video quite compulsive, but then of course I broke into give them the live experience. Don’t want to short change the punters.  Its a bit spooky acting yourself, but it does make ad-libbing much easier. Which is important as I’ve only read the script a couple of times. That rehearsal thing is just a farce since there’s no-one there.

So far everyone I’ve met here is a stand-up or Oxbridge undergraduate.  Someone told me there was an International Festival of Music and Drama going on but I can’t find any trace of it. Not in the Old Town anyway.

Mind you my own dramatic work was all banned. I’d like to write a few epics now about Scottish heroes- Jimmy Reid, William Wallace, Desperate Dan and so forth.  Apparently they’re doing the Darien Disaster instead. It’s a kind of confidence-builder.

When I was here before the place was crawling with critics. Every pub had at least two to prop up the bar. Now they can’t be found for love and money. Does no-one want to review my Diaries – am I Bard again? Does nonsense mend like brandy when imported?

Well, stuff youn too. From now on I’m blaggin the fringe. Watch out- 7.00pm nightly at the Scottish Storytelling Centre – or in a bar close to YOU.

ROBERT BURNS

Burns: The Video Diary is on at the Scottish Storytelling Centre
(Venue 30)
Fri 13 – Mon 30 August, 7pm (60mins) £9/£7, Age 14+

Follow the mindset of Burns this Fringe as he experiences the Edinburgh Festival and offers up some colloquial musings…in another of his blags…

First rehearsal at my venue – it might be the last.  Scottish Short Story Centre.

I get on the stage and barely open the script, admittedly for the first time.
CUT PAGE SIXTEEN PLEASE
That’s the last line.
TOO FUCKIN RIGHT MATE, WE’RE TOPPIN AND TAILIN IT
Have you tried castrating?

Who are these techie martians anyway? Earpiece geeks.
Are actors mere puppets to be jiggled at will-
Stop, start, cut, AGAIN. What of the actor’s art? Are we just poor players-
toasted in the pit and tainted in the town? The drawing rooms of Edinburgh.

Why did I get mixed up in this thespian racket anyway.
Let the Andy Canon guy do me if he’s so keen. I’ll away back
To Ayrshire and do performing mice.

ROBERT BURNS

Burns: The Video Diary is on at the Scottish Storytelling Centre
(Venue 30)
Fri 13 – Mon 30 August, 7pm (60mins) £9/£7, Age 14+